Say you’re from Ireland, and the bitter feeling of being robbed of World Cup qualification by Thierry Henry’s cheating left hand caused you to rashly book a U.S. vacation for the entire month of the World Cup, June 11th to July 11th. You figured you couldn’t bear the pain of all the “what ifs” and “we couldas.” America would be perfect; you’d always wanted to go, and best of all, most people wouldn’t know Lio Messi from their own left foot. No sorry reminders of another four years of waiting.

But now, as the Cup nears, a spike of regret is needling at you. “What was I thinking,” you mutter, as you pack your bags and print your boarding passes. The more news you hear about rosters finalizing, managers strategizing, nations pageanting and agonizing, the more you regret leaving your mates behind to have all the fun while you photograph famous bridges and canyons. Somewhere in America, you hope, you pray, the beautiful game will be on TV; somewhere people have got to be watching and rooting loudly (preferably with full pints, never mind that most games start in the early morning Pacific Time) for anyone but France.

In San Francisco at least, you’re in luck. In fact, San Francisco just announced that The City will be showing every match of the World Cup on a 18 by 13 foot video screen hanging from a hydraulic lift at Civic Center Plaza, directly in front of City Hall. Unfortunately, no alcohol will be sold at the venue, presumably because The City would rather its employees show up to work sober after watching the morning games. So bring your own, and a nice brown paper bag to carry it in.

To give you an idea of how much San Franciscans embrace the world’s game, consider: Four years ago the final between France and Italy was shown on a similarly hoisted giant TV in Dolores Park. Nearly 10,000 people showed up to watch. Fans sang, cheered, used noise-makers, even set off fireworks, (and booed lustily at Zinedine Zidane), as the Italians took home the world’s top sporting prize.

Meanwhile bars, pubs, lounges and restaurants have been upgrading their satellite packages, hooking up colossal HDTVs and generally preparing for a soccer bonanza (just like every other major city in the world outside of the U.S.). Largely because The City welcomes so many travelers, and so many travelers decide to stay and make it home, there are a host of venues prepped to show as many Cup games as possible. These indoor venues are where you’ll find your NileGuide SF local expert watching the Cup:

Kezar Pub – This soccer friendly Irish bar at the east end of Golden Gate Park features great pub food (their buffalo wings are especially delightful) a massive draft beer selection, atleast one HDTV visible from every seat in the place, and a soccer friendly group of regulars who’ll no doubt be there with bells on. Plus, the staff is used to the place opening early for sporting events, as it regularly features Premier and Champions League matches live.

Mercury Lounge - Every other month of the year, I’d advise you avoid staying too long at this too big, too bland nightclub/restaurant at the intersection of SoMA and the Mission. But since brothers Aaron and Andrew Marestaing decided to use the lounge as host for their World Cup party, this centrally located spot has hit the top of my list for the place to find cheap drinks, cute national kit-bedecked bartenders and a rowdy ambience for every game.

Horatius - This Bayview/Dogpatch area cafe and Portuguese restaurant features great mediterranean food and Ritual (read: very good) coffee, so if you want to watch the morning games but still be awake enough to be productive at work the rest of the day, this may be your spot. They also serve beer and wine, if you just can’t watch footie without. Plus, the local Telemundo affiliate has its studio nearby, so expect a goodly amount of cheering in Spanish, as well as in Portuguese from owner/chef Horacio Gomes.

Tags: “Kezar Pub”, “Lionel Messi”, “Mercury Lounge”, “Places to watch”, “Thierry Henry”, “Where to watch”, “World Cup”, 2010, civic center, football, guide, Horatius, san francisco, soccer